In the town of law
“Those who are critical don’t like being criticized, and those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses.”
― Suzy Kassem
“What have you done? You killed him!” bellowed the officer, all eyes now turned to me as he stood over the lifeless body on the playground, and all the fingers started pointing, accusing, me of a murder I didn’t commit. Briefly, the whole police department surrounded the crime scene, had me in cuffs, and tucked my head getting in the car. The road to the station was a lonely, quiet and painful, It felt like I’m gonna spend the rest of life in solitary, although I never been in jail.
As I got to the Investigation sector, I tried calling a lawyer but unfortunately, she did not take my call, due to the extreme police policy, that murder suspects aren’t worth being defended. Two cops led me to the investigation room, it was just unbelievably filthy but that wasn’t the bad part, it stunk, and most annoyingly the slight water drops repeating second after second…
At the time I sat down, unrelated questions started popping up, as the chief in command kept weirdly asking “You have a longer hair than usual people do, probably you are a rebel, maybe not, you are a hippie, that explains why you killed him! “ as he screams and spits on my face… It felt like he is on an asking marathon so he kept adding; “Why are you so negative, look at the bright side, confess and tell me who you work for and I’ll manage a way for you to get out of custody.” “It was the perfect setup, It definitely wasn’t me and I don’t even have a job since I’m still passing exams and I was on my way to the library, officer”. Yet the Headquarters captain kept pushing all those personal questions as if Nirvana is my favorite band, my general thoughts, how I view the world and what religion I believe in, or how my acne scars have anything to do with the crime.
Unlike the headstrong judgemental captain, the other detective started talking to me just when the HQ Captain left the room, he kind of was choking on words and said “There’s nothing I can do for you. I know you are not the one who did it but I’d lose my job and I won’t be even able to let you go free.” “But the-e-r should be a way to end this right? I can’t be just dead or rot in jail for the end of my life” I said while the tears dropping on my cheeks. “ Please, when he comes back, tell him to ask me about reasonable things that can be related to the murderer, that way he finds out I am falsely accused. I mean right it’s an investigation but not that much of a personal investigation, he didn’t even ask where I have been when the janitor died, or what I did that morning”
Officer Bob added, “ I know, as long you look like a “ Junkie” No offense, and I don’t think you are, he won’t let it go, he knew his wife had an affair with a guy looking exactly like you, so he thinks that you are a just another wannabe that never wash their hair and probably will die in a drug overdose but manages a way to get away with everything he does, even if you have done nothing but to be who you are, or express the way yourself through music, thoughts, and fashion. As if it isn’t the way most of us express themselves “
“ So you are saying that I can be accused of being who I am, That I should be who I am so I avoid trouble? “ with a low tone I said. Bob left the room with a disappointed look on his face, the second his captain got in. Leaving me in a huge dispute about what kind of shoes I wore, as in his defense, in 30 years service, above 50% had exactly the same kind of shoes. I mean it’s an investigation but it felt more like Investing in me…
Unfortunately, the case was closed and I had to be in jail with bandits and rapists causing me a lot of background issues. However, it seems like I never got out of Bob’s thoughts, for getting an innocent man behind bars. Apparently he kept working on the janitor’s murder until he found out the real murder and got me out after 5 years of suffering day and night to the poor conditions and the fights I’ve been in. Bob informed me that Captain left him his office since he was mentally suffering that got way too dangerous.
Judging will not only mess up with the judged people’s feelings, decisions, and mental health but it causes the judging person; low self-worth, depression, and anxiety.
Yet, I and Bob believe; Being judgmental isn’t all bad. When our inner Judge is balanced, we are able to make clear decisions and avoid potentially dangerous situations. Being critical also helps us to be creative, innovative, and insightful about other people’s problems (think of the therapist who must judge his or her patient to help them).
But there is a big difference between making judgments and being judgemental. Making judgments comes from a balanced and neutral mind. On the other hand, judgmentalism comes from an imbalanced and reactive mind that is seeking to protect itself from being hurt by others. We could, therefore, say that judgmentalism is actually a defense mechanism.
“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”
- Earl Nightangle
